【往期回顾】
【本期内容】
My Niece and Me: Women Talk About the Many Facets of Aunt Life
我和我的侄女：女人谈论身为阿姨的方方面面
I became an aunt for the first time this summer, and the arrival of my niece was marked with excitement and responsibility that I’m all too glad to accept.
今年夏天，我第一次当了阿姨，侄女的到来让我很兴奋，也意味着责任，但我很乐意接受这份责任。
Growing up, my (eleven) aunts wore many hats—mentor, role-model, teacher, confidant, best friend. I’ll never forget their simple kind gestures of giving me spending money when I went to the mall with friends and cousins or when they would offer to drive me to and from my extracurricular activities. I hold deep gratitude for the ways they were there for my family and me during difficult times. But perhaps my fondest memories are of sitting in one of their backyards on a warm summer night, watching the sun set behind the trees.
在我的成长过程中，我的十一个阿姨扮演了很多角色——导师、榜样、老师、知己、挚友。我永远不会忘记，当我和朋友以及堂兄弟姐妹去商场时，他们给我钱花的招手示意，也不会忘记当他们主动开车送我上下课外活动时的场景。我深深感谢他们在困难时期为我和我的家人所做的一切。但也许我最美好的回忆是在一个温暖的夏夜，坐在他们的后院里，看着太阳落在树后。
Because of my desire to be that sort of aunt to my niece, I recently caught up with several women to see how they live out their role as aunt and the lessons they’ve learned along the way.
由于我也想成为那样的阿姨，我最近采访了几位女性，看看她们是如何履行阿姨的角色的，以及她们在这一过程中学到的教训。
Building confidence
建立信心
“I want [my nieces’] confidence to stem from the knowledge that they are loved,” said Katie (22) whose nieces are five and three. “People frequently stop to tell [my nieces] how pretty they are. I don’t want them to believe that this is where confidence comes from. I focus on the things that make them who they are.” Together with their parents, Katie works to, “impress within them the knowledge that they are good, smart, and kind.”
凯蒂（22岁）的侄女分别是五岁和三岁，她说：“我希望（我的侄女）的自信源于他们被爱的事实。”“人们经常停下来告诉（我的侄女们）他们有多漂亮。我不想让他们相信这就是自信的来源。我专注于让他们成为现在的自己。”凯蒂和他们的父母一起努力，“让他们知道他们是很棒的、聪明的、善良的。”
“There are a lot of pressures put on women in our world today and I don’t want those pressures to tear her down. I want to help lift her up,” said Jackie (26) who is already thinking about how to prepare her very young niece for these pressures. In a culture filled with conflicting images, an aunt can inspire her niece to pursue a confidence that is authentic to who she is.
杰姬（26岁）说：“当今世界的女性承受着很多压力，我不希望这些压力让她崩溃。我想帮助她振作起来。”她已经在考虑如何让她年幼的侄女做好应对这些压力的准备。在一个充满矛盾想形象的文化中，阿姨可以激励她的侄女追求真实的自信。
Playing an active role
发挥积极作用
“I remember when my aunts would show up for my plays or a field hockey tournament, it made me so excited and proud to know they cared,” Caitlin (31) explained. “If one [of my nieces] has a special event at school, I do my best to attend,”Caitlin said, in order to show genuine appreciation and pride for their achievements.
凯特琳（31岁）解释道：“我记得当我的阿姨们出现在我的比赛或曲棍球比赛中时，我知道他们是关心我的，对此我感到非常兴奋和自豪。”凯特琳说：“如果我的一个侄女在学校有特殊活动，我会尽力参加。”这是为了对他们的成就表示真正的赞赏和自豪。
Katie shares that time spent with her nieces has not only benefited them, but her as well. “I love taking them to water parks and running around in the water with them. I think being silly and weird together is as good for them as it is for me! Our relationship isn’t based on me correcting, teaching, or disciplining them. Being silly together gives them the opportunity to act freely [and I’m able] to join them at their level.”
凯蒂分享说，与侄女们在一起的时间不仅让他们受益，也让她自己受益。“我喜欢带他们去水上公园，和他们一起在水里追逐。我认为在一起表现得愚蠢和怪异对他们和我自己都一样地有益！我们的关系不是建立在我纠正、教导或管教他们的基础上的。在一起表现愚蠢给了他们自由行动的机会，而且（我也能够）称为他们的一份子。”
Being a mentor
成为导师
“There is a special influence you have as an aunt,” says Caitlin. “You are not only a grownup in their life, you’re someone they can talk with about important things going on in their life.” Being more removed from a situation, an aunt can offer an outsider’s opinion, while also leading their nieces to decisions that are best for them and in line with their parents’ approach in their upbringing. “Parents play a crucial role in their children’s lives, but it’s important to have other adults, mentors and role models” to reinforce values from another point of view.
凯特琳说：“作为阿姨，你有一种特殊的影响力。”“你不仅是他们生活中的成年人，你也是他们可以一起谈论生活中发生的重要事情的人。”阿姨因为更加置身事外，所以可以提供局外人的意见，同时也可以引导他们的侄女做出对他们最有利的决定，并使之符合父母养育她们的方式。“父母在孩子的生活中扮演着至关重要的角色，但重要的是要有其他成年人、导师和榜样”，从另一个角度强化其价值观。
Kerry (47) also confirmed this idea. “When they are little, the relationship is similar to the one you have with your own child, but as they grow, you realize they usually don’t need another parent, just another perspective.”
Kerry（47岁）也证实了这一观点。“当他们很小的时候，这种关系与你与自己孩子的关系相似，但随着他们的成长，你意识到他们通常不需要另一个父母，只需要另一种视角。”
Cynthia (65), has not only embraced her role as aunt, but as a great-aunt as well. She says she gives all her nieces “space to make decisions.” “[I’m] there for them whether the decisions are good or bad . . . afterwards we discuss what might have been the better or more positive route.”
辛西娅（65岁）不仅接受了阿姨的角色，还接受了曾阿姨的角色。她说，她给了所有侄女“做决定的空间”。“无论决定是好是坏，（我）都会支持他们……然后我们讨论什么可能是更好或更积极的途径。”
Making memories
制造回忆
From slumber parties to Christmas traditions, the aunts I talked to love taking advantage of any opportunity to spend time with their nieces. Jackie says to “find something you both like and experience it together.” Which is exactly what many of the other aunts have done and continue to do.
从睡衣派对到圣诞节传统，与我交谈过的阿姨们都喜欢利用任何机会与侄女共度时光。杰姬说“找到你们都喜欢的东西，一起体验。”这正是许多其他阿姨已经做过并将继续做的事情。
Katie includes her nieces in her love of sport. “I myself am very athletic, so I enjoy encouraging them to play with me outside [or] go on a bike ride.” Some of Dawn’s (54) favorite memories are simply of singing with her nieces in the car.
凯蒂让侄女们像她一样热爱运动。“我自己运动能力很强，所以我喜欢鼓励他们在外面和我一起玩，或者骑自行车。”Dawn（54岁）最喜欢的一些回忆只是和她的侄女们在车里唱歌。
Caitlin, who is also an independent artist, invited her nieces to record a song with her for an upcoming album. “Having three of my nieces sing with me in the recording studio . . . was one of the most special days for all four of us!”
凯特琳也是一名独立艺术家，她邀请侄女们为即将发行的专辑录制一首歌。“让我的三个侄女和我一起在录音室唱歌……对我们四个人来说是最特别的日子之一！”
Delia (37) encourages aunts to look for a way to create a special aunt and niece tradition. “I took my nieces to Longwood Gardens right before Christmas each year. I savored the experience—the crisp winter air, the wonder of Christmas lights all throughout the gardens, the giant model train, drinking hot cocoa, and watching my nieces literally frolic about as if they had not a care in the world.”
迪莉娅（37岁）鼓励阿姨们寻找一种方法来创造一种特殊的阿姨和侄女的传统。“每年圣诞节前，我都会带着我的侄女们去朗伍德花园。我喜欢这种体验——清新的冬季空气，花园里到处都是圣诞灯的奇观，巨大的火车模型，喝着热可可，看着我的侄女嬉戏玩耍，就好像他们根本什么烦恼都没有一样。”
Growing with the relationship
与侄女一起成长
Suzy (27), who became an aunt at age three, loves how the relationship with her nieces is becoming “more authentic.” She explains, “It is incredible to watch each bond grow and develop in different ways. My oldest niece is twenty-four and has truly become one of my very best friends.”
Suzy（27岁）在三岁时成为了一名阿姨，她喜欢与侄女的关系变得“更加真实”。她解释道，“看着每一种亲情纽带以不同的方式成长和发展，真是令人难以置信。我的大侄女24岁了，真的成了我最好的朋友之一。”
Some of the aunts I spoke with have had to transition into new phases of their life that moved them away from their nieces. There’s always Skype, FaceTime and social media, but Caitlin suggests letter writing as a special way of keeping in touch across the miles. Delia adds that aunts must “relish the time [they] have to spend with nieces.” “As much as I wish I could continue our Longwood Garden tradition, living in DC has made it more difficult.”
与我交谈过的一些阿姨不得不过渡到生活的新阶段，这让她们远离了侄女。总是有Skype、FaceTime和社交媒体，但凯特琳建议写信是一种跨越距离保持联系的特殊方式。迪莉娅补充道，阿姨们必须“享受与侄女共度的时光。”“尽管我很希望能继续我们的朗伍德花园传统，但住在华盛顿让这变得更加困难。”
Anyone can be an “Auntie”
任何人都可以成为“阿姨”
Cynthia is an aunt to her friend’s daughter. She says her memories with this niece include everything she’s done with her biological nieces: beach trips, holiday celebrations, and mentoring.
辛西娅是她朋友女儿的阿姨。她说，她和这个侄女的记忆里包含了她和亲生侄女所做的一切：海滩旅行、节日庆祝活动和心灵辅导。
Caitlin was a nanny to a young girl for almost six years and enjoys taking advantage of any opportunity to reconnect with her. “I remember promising her that even if I wouldn’t always be her nanny, that we would always be friends and have a special place in each other’s lives.”
凯特琳为一个小女孩当了将近六年的保姆，她喜欢利用任何机会与她再次联系。“我记得我向她承诺，即使我不会一直做她的保姆，我们也会一直是朋友，在彼此的生活中留有特殊的位置。”
For some of us our aunts are second mothers, stepping in to care for us during circumstances when no else can. For others, visiting an aunt may mean travelling a great distance to reconnect - the lively conversation picking up just where it left off. No matter what their stories are, or how we came to call them aunt, the greatest thing an aunt can do is be present with a niece and make sure she knows she belongs.
对我们中的一些人来说，我们的阿姨是第二个母亲，在其他人无法做到的情况下，她们会照顾我们。对其他人来说，看望阿姨可能意味着要走很远的路才能再次联系上——从中断的地方接着开始那次充满趣味的聊天。无论他们的故事是什么，或者我们是当初是如何称呼他们为阿姨的，阿姨能做的最棒的事就是和侄女在一起，确保她知道自己是有人爱的。
【Source】www.verilymag.com
【Translated by】Spark Liao (廖怀宝)
【Illustration】From Bing
